Mornings with kids can be a lot. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, finding shoes, eating breakfast, packing bags, and getting out the door on time can feel like an entire day’s worth of work before 8 a.m.
For children who have difficulty with transitions, communication, changes in routine, or completing daily living tasks independently, mornings can be even more challenging.
As a BCBA, one thing I remind families is that a smoother morning does not necessarily mean your child needs to “behave better.” Sometimes, we simply need to look at the routine differently and make the environment work better for them.
Here are a few strategies that can help.
Make the Morning Predictable
Knowing what comes next can make a huge difference.
Try keeping the morning routine as consistent as possible. Wake up, use the bathroom, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush teeth, grab your backpack, and head out the door.
Your child’s routine may look completely different, and that’s okay. What matters is that they begin to learn what to expect.
For some children, a simple visual schedule with pictures of each activity can be especially helpful. Instead of repeatedly saying, “Go get dressed,” you can point to the next step on the schedule.
Predictability can reduce some of the uncertainty that makes transitions difficult.
Give Yourself More Time
I know this one is easier said than done, but rushing can make an already difficult morning even harder.
If getting dressed typically takes your child 15 minutes, planning only five minutes for it creates stress for everyone.
When possible, build a little extra time into the routine. That may mean waking up 10 minutes earlier or completing certain tasks the night before.
Lay out clothes. Pack the backpack. Find the shoes. Decide what breakfast will be.
Removing even one or two decisions from the morning can help things run more smoothly.
Offer Choices When You Can
Children hear a lot of instructions throughout the day. Offering appropriate choices can give them a little more control while still getting the task completed.
Instead of asking, “Do you want to get dressed?” when getting dressed is not optional, try:
“Do you want the blue shirt or the green shirt?”
“Do you want to brush your teeth before or after you get dressed?”
“Do you want cereal or yogurt?”
Both choices still move the morning forward, but your child gets to participate in the decision.
Break Big Tasks Into Smaller Steps
Sometimes what looks like refusal is actually a task that feels overwhelming.
“Go get ready for school” may involve several different skills. Your child has to remember what to do, determine the order, complete each step, and stay focused long enough to finish.
Instead, try breaking the routine into smaller directions.
“Let’s put on your shirt.”
“Great. Now let’s get your pants.”
Over time, as your child becomes more independent, you can provide less help.
The goal is not to do everything for them. The goal is to provide enough support for them to be successful and gradually step back as they learn.
Reinforce What You Want to See More Often
We often notice what goes wrong during a busy morning, but make sure you’re also noticing what goes right.
If your child gets dressed after the first reminder, tell them.
If they transition from breakfast to brushing their teeth without a struggle, acknowledge it.
Something as simple as, “You got ready so quickly this morning. Nice job!” can be meaningful.
For some children, additional reinforcement may be helpful. Maybe completing the morning routine means they have five minutes to play with a favorite toy before leaving or they get to choose the music in the car.
Your BCBA can help you determine what type of reinforcement may work best for your child.
Pick Your Battles
Not everything needs to become a teaching moment, especially at 7:30 in the morning.
If your child’s shirt doesn’t perfectly match their pants but they’re dressed and ready to leave, it may be okay to let that one go.
Think about what really matters for your family’s morning. Safety, hygiene, getting necessary items, and leaving the house may be priorities. Other things can be practiced when there is more time.
A successful morning does not have to be a perfect morning.
Final Thoughts
Creating a stress free morning routine does not happen overnight. You may try a strategy and realize it needs to be adjusted, and that’s completely normal.
Start small. Choose one part of the morning that consistently feels difficult and work on that first.
At Essential Speech and ABA Therapy, we want the skills children learn during ABA to make everyday life easier for the entire family. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, following a routine, communicating when something is wrong, and transitioning out the door are all meaningful skills because they are part of real life.
The goal is not a picture perfect morning. The goal is a routine that helps your child become more confident and independent while helping your family start the day with a little less stress.
